Attention.

Sorry for the blur photo it was taken via iPhone. Well for today's topic will be much more personal on myself. Yes, MYSELF. I name it ATTENTION.

I'm a person who really need attention friends. But it seem to be like i'm losing their attention. This makes me wonder, what's wrong with me? It's isn't this way in the past. Basically i get at most A TEXT on my phone for every an hour or two. Which somehow leads me to the thinking that i'm very lonely. I mean i need someone to talk as well, but i just cant seem to find that someone who earn my trust. It's kinda ridiculous when i've got no one to go out with on some of the weekends thus i gotta find my own activity say movie, shopping, PRAWNING? all alone. Even meals i had to be on my own. Thus this leads me to not having "BFF" (best friends forever) or close friends or true friends.

Basically i just cant seem to have someone true be it a lady or a guy. Hence i tends to bottle things up, keeping things to myself not having anyone to talk to, etc. It's a feeling which you felt the lost in life. I mean no one is supporting your decision you made. No one have a pair of ears for you, no one would truly understand you well.

I felt really lost at some point of time till the extend i was on the verge of breaking down. Just wanna have a person be there, no there's no one. It's really screwed up, this isn't what i want. Envy people around me have tons and tons of friends with them, talk, chat, have fun. What about me? Has the earth forgotten about my existence? Aren't humans the same? Everyone breathes in oxygen and breathes out carbon dioxide, i do as well. But what i'm facing now is that it seem like i'm the only person on earth breathes in carbon dioxide and breathes out oxygen. What others have it's just a 180 degree turn over. Totally OPPOSITE. I don't have "BFF", CLOSE FRIENDS, TRUE FRIENDS. I classify all my FRIENDS as just FRIENDS. Unless that particular person proves me that he/she earn my trust. Otherwise, every friend of mine is treated equally yet not BIAS.

I felt the stress pressuring me. I have to stress over studies, financial, work, family & lots more. No one notice that, no one is able to understand the amount of stress i'm handling right now at this point of time. I wouldn't like to show people the unhappiness in me as i believe that people in the streets are bringing a happy mood out and i shouldn't turn them off by giving a BLACK face to each and everyone i see. As more or less, i believe i might affect their mood as well. Giving others a thought before doing something is always the first priority in my mind. Nevertheless, i might seem to be a HAPPY-GO-LUCKY kinda person on the EXTERIOR, but you'll never know what i'm handling with in the INTERIOR.

Give your friends around you more attention, you will never know you'll be the one whom brighten up their day by simple acts, example : leaving a text of greeting would greatly ease their stressful mind. Good Luck.