Humble.

What's the topic for today? HUMBLE !
Before i start the topic, I really wanna apologize to my readers as my visit count is increasing yet i didn't make the time and effort to update my blog. I'm really extremely busy these days as papers are are coming up really very soon. Busy mugging at home with piles and piles of notes, projects to complete with.

Alright, lets start here! Humble, why would i choose this as topic for today? Being humble in life it's a principle which each and every humans need to comply with. WHY? Reason is simple. It's a prospect which majority people is looking into. A short post for today. Good Luck.

Attention.

Sorry for the blur photo it was taken via iPhone. Well for today's topic will be much more personal on myself. Yes, MYSELF. I name it ATTENTION.

I'm a person who really need attention friends. But it seem to be like i'm losing their attention. This makes me wonder, what's wrong with me? It's isn't this way in the past. Basically i get at most A TEXT on my phone for every an hour or two. Which somehow leads me to the thinking that i'm very lonely. I mean i need someone to talk as well, but i just cant seem to find that someone who earn my trust. It's kinda ridiculous when i've got no one to go out with on some of the weekends thus i gotta find my own activity say movie, shopping, PRAWNING? all alone. Even meals i had to be on my own. Thus this leads me to not having "BFF" (best friends forever) or close friends or true friends.

Basically i just cant seem to have someone true be it a lady or a guy. Hence i tends to bottle things up, keeping things to myself not having anyone to talk to, etc. It's a feeling which you felt the lost in life. I mean no one is supporting your decision you made. No one have a pair of ears for you, no one would truly understand you well.

I felt really lost at some point of time till the extend i was on the verge of breaking down. Just wanna have a person be there, no there's no one. It's really screwed up, this isn't what i want. Envy people around me have tons and tons of friends with them, talk, chat, have fun. What about me? Has the earth forgotten about my existence? Aren't humans the same? Everyone breathes in oxygen and breathes out carbon dioxide, i do as well. But what i'm facing now is that it seem like i'm the only person on earth breathes in carbon dioxide and breathes out oxygen. What others have it's just a 180 degree turn over. Totally OPPOSITE. I don't have "BFF", CLOSE FRIENDS, TRUE FRIENDS. I classify all my FRIENDS as just FRIENDS. Unless that particular person proves me that he/she earn my trust. Otherwise, every friend of mine is treated equally yet not BIAS.

I felt the stress pressuring me. I have to stress over studies, financial, work, family & lots more. No one notice that, no one is able to understand the amount of stress i'm handling right now at this point of time. I wouldn't like to show people the unhappiness in me as i believe that people in the streets are bringing a happy mood out and i shouldn't turn them off by giving a BLACK face to each and everyone i see. As more or less, i believe i might affect their mood as well. Giving others a thought before doing something is always the first priority in my mind. Nevertheless, i might seem to be a HAPPY-GO-LUCKY kinda person on the EXTERIOR, but you'll never know what i'm handling with in the INTERIOR.

Give your friends around you more attention, you will never know you'll be the one whom brighten up their day by simple acts, example : leaving a text of greeting would greatly ease their stressful mind. Good Luck.

Happiness.

HAPPINESS, first thought when i heard this was MONEY. Why?

Most of poeple out there might think that if you're RICH, you can buy HAPPINESS. To me, HAPPINESS can be so easy, so simple till you will MISS it. Well, why would i say it's simple. Reason being, i do not need to be with "ATAS" (means expensive) friends to make me HAPPY. "ATAS" friends would spend their day shopping for branded goods or driving some ITALIAN sports cars or drinking all day long or getting ladies in clubs or pubs. What does it shows?

BRANDED GOODS, yes for business its one thing, but for instance, a casual outings, why do you still need to carry all sorts of branded goods? It's kinda like attracting the wrong attention just for a normal day out. A casual outing especially with ladies i think you wouldn't need to show what you have to them. I mean you wouldn't wanna get a lady to be your friend just because of what you have and not your REAL personality. Thus it's kinda a test for that lady to judge if she were to be a true friend. Which guy would want to have a materialistic lady friend? I doubt anyone would want that UNLESS you just wanna FOOL around.

ITALIAN SPORTS car, minority of guys would get those just because of their passion or interest. I think majority of guys there are just to get LADIES. I feel kinda annoyed by those people you see. In my opinion, if you're a EMPTY SHELL inside, please have some limits.

DRINKING ALL DAY LONG, i think there's much more meaningful things you can do other than drinking all day long. Well, just put your EGO down and somehow try to merge with people as of a lower class than you. You'll find that you can be much more happier. As people is happy with what they have, people is happy of what they are doing. It's something you can't achieve when you're not willing to put your EGO down and understand what is the real happiness they are going through. It's much more meaningful in that sense.

Apart from that, just by being with your loved ones is also another form of happiness you can achieve easily. It's just the matter that you're willing to put that extra effort to bond everyone together. Good Luck.

Loyal Pal.

LOYAL PAL, it's a photo of my dearest WALNUT up there. He's a cute, cranky, stubborn, defensive, loving pal. He's the one who make my day when i'm home or after a long day of lecture.

Talking about LOYAL PAL, recently the news of a CABBY hit-and-run a husky has been circulating online and it went viral. Thus, this post is what i think and thought for it. STRICTLY no obligations.

Yes, i agree that the cabby is irresponsible for the cause of  death of husky in that incident. But have you thought of another factor of what causes this incident? It's about leashing the husky. If lets say any dogs which is leashed by the owner, would you think the dog would have the chance of dashing across the road? Well, to me i feel that it's more on a 90% of impossible and 10% of possible. WHY? That's the question, 90% IMPOSSIBLE, as you're leashing the dog, would you even let go of your beloved pal's leash when you know that the road is just beside the pathway? Common sense shows that you wouldn't let go if the leash, true? Thus, it is clearly shown that the owner has no sense of responsibility of taking good care of the husky. WHY? So if i you were to be walking your husky out with leash on, you should understand the strength of your own husky. Thus holding on to the leash with force is a definite MUST. If the owner would be holding on tight, why would the husky dash across the road? It clearly shows that its the owner's fault for risking a BEAUTIFUL husky's life under her control. Thus, both cabby and the owner has their part to play on both sides, both has their own fault. Who to blame? For me, i think it would be the husky's owner. Irresponsible.

Back to WALNUT, so yes, walnut is finally 2 months 2 weeks old, weighs at 1.7kg at the moment. Thus he is still a tiny little puppy which everyone would love to dote on. He's active as a 4 month old puppy and nevertheless, WALNUT loves chewing on human's limbs. As he is teething, it's normal.

So be responsible of what you're doing. LOYAL PALS are innocent, do love them. Good Luck.

Choice.

Sleepless nights, thoughts running in and out of my mind. Today's post there isn't any specific topic as i'm just too busy with stuffs which held me up.

Thoughts, i believe everyone has your own thoughts running through your mind. It might be something important or probably it is just a "passerby" kinda thoughts. For me, my thoughts are mostly the same thus, been struggling with myself. Believing in them is one thing. But will it ever come true? That's surely another thing for you to think and give a solution to it.

Whatever it is, i'm trying to stay positive hoping that what i hope for would goes my way.  Nevertheless, as expected, it wouldn't happen.

HOW LONG CAN I STAY POSITIVE? That's definitely a question to myself. Yes i've tried, gave in all my best effort, yet i did not gain anything at all.


GIVING UP, yes i've thought of that before. To me, whether or not to give up it's a choice which you can made by yourself. No one is controlling you saying that "Oh yes, you must give up now. There isn't any hope at all, please do not day dream anymore." Well, all these words and sentences i've heard before, i chose not to give up. I believe in myself that i'm able to do it, stay positive and not giving up with anyone's comments, etc. 


Remember, CHOICE is made by YOU, YOURSELF and not anyone else. Stay positive, believe in YOURSELF. Good luck.

Flashbacks.

FLASHBACKS. Anyone or in fact everyone has been through this. Definitely i had it as well. Most people out there would have it once in a blue moon or even when you're day dreaming, your mind would kinda start all sorts of FLASHBACKS by its own. Its uncontrollable and unpredictable. Thus its something comes really sudden.

For me, i had it very frequently. Probably i'm just thinking too much or i'm just too stress. FLASHBACKS isn't something bad, this is what i feel and my perspective on it. Yes, FLASHBACKS do help me in getting some of my memories back. Even that incident happened say days, weeks, months, years or even decades back. Somehow at that moment when FLASHBACKS comes in place it just seem so realistic and somehow the image tends to be in "HD QUALITY"

This is something funny i thought. At times, i would try my very best to crack my brains, trying my very best to remember something. But it's either i just can't get that image back to my mind or it's just a BLURRED image that happen to pop up. I've been wondering.

All memories are worth to keep, thus, the best moment you can remember it is through FLASHBACKS. Like what i've said earlier on, FLASHBACKS gives me a "HD QUALITY" image which you can't seem to get via normal thinking. I really do wonder why. At times, memories which i've CHERISHED alot just seem to be so PRECIOUS to me. I do admit that i do breakdown out of no reason. Well there is the reason and it's FLASHBACKS. SERIOUSLY, i just have no answer to that part which why would i breakdown even though that particular memory happened months back.

Most of the time, i would just visit the place which means a lot to me . I should say, the location which reflected in the FLASHBACK itself. I would just sit down, enjoy the breeze seem to be relaxing but i'm not. My mind would always be thinking and thinking and thinking about the past. Eventually, tears just seem to be filling my eyes. Well, its the past. Tearing for the past might seem to be silly for some people out there, in fact most people i guess. To me, i feel that it's something worthwhile, i don't mind being mocked by the public. As human's nature would always have the negative thinking of ladies tearing out of no where. Don't judge if you do not know whats happening. Ladies are just too emotional, thus letting it out seem to be the best choice than piling them up.

I believe someone out here would have the same mindset as me. I mean not totally the same but say 90% same? Thus, don't take memories as memories. CHERISH  it when it happen to come by, you might not have it popping up in your mind anymore. It's not within your control.

Expectations.

EXPECTATIONS, expecting, expect. Well, in terms of RELATIONSHIP. Yes, i'm not in a relationship but i still have to say this out. Everyone is different. In the sense that everyone has different expectations, different perspectives, different thinking. Some may expect too much but just can't seem to notice it. Some may just go by the other party's preferences. Well for me i prefer 60% : 40% . 60% of my expectations & 40% of the opposite party's preference.

People might think "Hey, you're too much!" I am aware that i do not have figure nor do i have looks. And i'm  asking for 60% probably that's ridiculous to you. Thus there isn't any OBLIGATIONS once again.

60% yes, its kinda not fair. In the sense that its isn't EQUAL. Why is this so? Here's the answer. In every relationship i had, i don't look at a short term wise. Thus, i look in to a long term, which means a FUTURE. Therefore, asking for slightly more from another party is slightly alright, i guess. Of course there will be a limit.

Every lady out there would EXPECT their partners to DOTE, PAMPER, LOVE, TRUST. For me, i do admit that i expect all but most importantly it's the COMMUNICATION. Once you find yourself in a relationship which both parties can't seem to communicate, it's kinda hard to keep it going any further. Put everything up on the table over drinks, i guess that's the best thing to do at that moment in time.

Things might not work out after that. EFFORT put in, would certainly help greatly. So guys, BUCK UP.

Forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS. Why would i choose this as today's topic? Well, in life everyone had their own wrong doings. But somehow, people just cant seem to notice it. At times, SELF REFLECTION is greatly needed. For me, yes i have lots of wrong doings in life which i did not even notice it myself. Its only when your mind is peace and calm, that's the best time to do some SELF REFLECTION. Say over a drink at Starbucks, lying on the bed while trying to sleep or even at a place with nice scenery.


It's too late to apologize by the time you've noticed it. Thus, the guilt is always there. Like what most people does and say, " Everyone would remember your wrong doings but never be the good deeds which you've done. " Personally, i agree with that quote. I myself do remember wrong doings but never a good one. WHY? This is what till now i still can't figure out myself.

It's probably the impression of inappropriate which cause it. Everyone know what is wrong and what is right. As usual, something done WRONGLY is always being remembered by people. I guess it's the IMPACT which causes it. I might be wrong, might be right. STRICTLY NO OBLIGATIONS.

Have you every thought of why does people wanna go against the flow? Is it for the THRILL? Is it for the EXCITEMENT? Is it for the FUN? Or is it for the ATTENTION you gain? Nevertheless, some people do it for CASH.

THRILL, so what's with the THRILL? Knowing that it's something wrong why bother to do it? Does it makes you happy after doing something wrong? Does it makes you feel better?
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE CONSEQUENCES?

EXCITEMENT, so thinking about it. First thing which hit my mind is that you're CHILDISH. What's with doing something wrong does EXCITEMENT for you? You're able to have EXCITEMENT from any where why must you go against the flow? 
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE CONSEQUENCES? 


ATTENTION, oh are you a ATTENTION seeker? Gaining attention there is lots of methods to do it. It's just a matter of time and effort you put in. But not the way of doing something ridiculous making yourself look like a fool. It's a DISGRACE. 
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE CONSEQUENCES?


CASH, if you're CASHLESS jolly well get a job and work your ASS OFF. Why must you go for FAST CASH? For instance, THEFT. Why must you do that? You'll eventually suffer in the end and bringing yourself into more TROUBLE. I doubt anyone would want that, true? Have you ever thought of the feelings of the opposite party? Did you even put yourself into their shoes and understand how they feel after that? That's a NO! 
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE HEFTY CONSEQUENCES?

In life, everything you do comes with a consequence. Its either a good one or it'll leave you in trouble. So choose wisely of what you're doing. Don't go the wrong path. Everyone might remember it and eventually there will be a barrier in between you and someone else.

Seeking FORGIVENESS it's never a easy job done. 

Chemistry.

Given myself this theme of FLORALS thus a floral photo is up.
Reason for this theme? Well, its because FLORALS ease my mind from everything. Especially when you're stress out. Remembering when i was young, i've always wanna be like a PRINCESS sleeping in a bed of roses, waking up with the greeting from the scent of FLORALS. Well, its just a dream, it'll never happen.

The month of JUNE had been a tough month for myself. Major stuffs had hit me straight up on my head. I've finally EXPECTED THE UNEXPECTABLE. Nevertheless, i've been looking on the bright side. Not thinking about the past. But this MAJOR thing had pushed me OFF TRACK. Trying my very best to pull myself back to the normal routine seem to be a difficult task to do. It just takes moments to push you off track but it takes UNPREDICTABLE effort to pull yourself back on track once again. It has always been a nightmare to face this situation, i've got no choice but to face it. Moreoever, there isn't anyone there for me to rant my feelings nor is there anyone who's supporting me emotionally.

EMOTIONS had set me aback from doing things which i wanna do. EMOTIONS really is the cause of pulling my self-esteem down. I've never expect EMOTIONS could create such a incredible disaster mentally. Not feeling secure, another MAJOR issue to me. Yet, EMOTIONS had taught me to think twice before doing something. EMOTIONS had almost made me lose faith in LOVE.

Wandering around the streets, the usual place, the usual food, the usual smell, the usual effort, the usual hugs and kisses made me wonder who am i. The absence i've felt, "hey, i'm SPEECHLESS. "

Looking for someone suitable for self, isn't that easy at all. It seem like you're searching for a gem in the ocean with strong waves waving across. Thus, difficulty level goes up as well as obstacles isn't that easy to go through. Even of you were to find a GEM in the ocean, a question for you, " Is this GEM suitable for you? " Yes, its understandable that it hard to find, you found one, it might look good or awesome, after putting it on, it's a total different story. You might find that it doesn't look as good as before, that's a hint to tell you : " DUDE, take things easy. "